Day 25-28 - I Fucking Love Kansas (Except When the Wind Is Against Me)! (Updated)

I knew i would love Kansas. Not just because all the other riders were dreading it. first of all, i already mentioned the people (well, one person, but Jeff was significant). All the riders agree, whether they like the scenery or whatever, that the people in Kansas are the nicest. You'd expect that, right? It's true, but there's also a relaxed quality as well as the kindness. Kansans seem to really like Kansas; they're not trying to get the hell outta here cuz it sucks. Like all you urbanites think.

Prairie grasses waving me thru Kansas

Besides the people, the scenery is beautiful. Wild. The eastern part of the state has a ton of rivers where trees congregate. The prairie grasses are of many varieties and they carpet the landscape in squares of many colors: green, golden wheat, yellow, lavender and white. There are many storm-damaged trees. Scary to contemplate what type of weather was capable of such damage (and prayers to avoid it). Dead trees in Kansas look like alien creatures trying to stealth away from predators, frozen mid-crawl forever. Cows abound. Most of the cows i've come across are grazing in groups in fields, cooling off in ponds, and seem quite happy (and friendly too in true Kansas style! i pet a few here and there. i've actually conversed with many as i pass by since there are looooong stretches where there's no one else to talk to. i sopke with another rider, Doug, who also talks to the cows, so don't think i'm the only crazy one. And yes they do talk back. they are very interested in my journey.)

Day 25 to Toronto was another 100-plus day. Gorgeous weather. Amazingly beautiful scenery. Toronto is home to Cross Timbers State park where i camped, next site over from Jeremy, a speedy guy aiming to get to San Francisco from Yorktown VA in a month flat. It's also home to the simply named "The Cafe" (yes, it's the only one) where i had the best meal that i've had in a long time, like 5 courses for 10 bucks. And gravy is brown again, i'm happy to report - no more of that light-colored yuckslop for now. The campsite is on a huge reservoir and though beautiful is home to a zillion bugs who don't understand the meaning of bug repellant. It's supposed to repel you, bugs. Now get the fuck away!

Sleep was sparse that night. It was friday and weekend campers are there to have a different kind of fun which involves birthday celebrations and groups of youngsters drunk dialing their friends. And the wind was not my friend, flap-flappety-flapping every flappable thread of material. i got up and prayed like a good Kansan that the wind would be my friend.

On Day 26 the wind was my enemy. Much of the early part of the day the route was atypically on a busy highway. and the wind! it was coming from the southwest at 20-25 mph with gusts upwards of 30. Now it was not directly in my face, but it was so strong that it was difficult to keep the bike upright and on the road. Since i was headed west the wind was on my left so luckily it was forcing me off the road and down into a ditch instead of into truck traffic speeding by at 65 mph. When a truck passed me from either direction, i had to brace myself from the added impact. It sucked really bad, the worst riding of the entire trip - slow and treacherous. I had a few moments of respite chatting with two couples traveling separately. Don (!) and Mary are from Wichita and are on their honeymoon. They have to ride to Kansas City where they're get the train to Seattle at which point their trip really begins. Don (!!) and Marilyn are from Denver, traveling on a recumbent tandem (2nd of the trip). They started in San Francisco so they gave me a lot of good dirt on Utah and Nevada. I'm a little nervous. It's gonna be crowded in Utah through all those state parks (RV central). And hot as hell there and in nevada.

Someone needs to tell President Obama about all this wind in Kansas. Many of the fields out here sport a single oil derrick seemingly digging for black gold. Don't know how much any of them produce, if that's indeed what i'm looking at, but wind is where it's at.

glad I didn't encounter weather that wreaked this havoc!

The wind got somewhat better later but that only allowed me to feel how freakin' hot it was. Really really hot and humid. the only good thing about the wind is that it dries your sweat immediately and is somewhat cooling, though you need to drink and drink and drink. I drank about 2 gallons of water that day. I creeped into Newton, Kansas at 97 miles and skipped family/partier camping for a Best Western.

I got obsessed with taking pics of all the water towers.

Steeling myself for wind on Day 27 i had to make it 108 miles. The last 58 miles of that ride there are no places to stop, so once you get past Nickerson, it's a done deal. The wind, however, was gentler and actually helped me along toward the end of the day. I took a lot of pictures through this stretch of central Kansas. I visited the Quivira Wildlife Reserve (signs warn: No Antler Collecting! - oh come on, just one pair...please...?). This area was named by Coronado, a Spanish explorer who traveled to Kansas from Mexico cuz some local Indians there told him he'd find cities made of gold. Sucker! He probably saw a lot of cool animals that i saw, though - turkey vultures (munching dead things in the middle of the road and others hanging around waiting for me to perish so they can suck out my entrails), long-tailed deer, snakes, the whitest-of-white swans (you've never seen anything so white, i tell ya), etc. And lots of bugs. The further i get through Kansas, the more endless amounts of tiny black, yellow, or green bugs stick to me, coating my arms and lower legs, my neck, my nostrils (i've stopped breathing through my mouth as much as possible).

I was curious about the name Larned (for Larned KS, destination of Day 27). I was secretly (secretly! ha! as if there's someone to tell!) hoping that Larned was just a Kansan way of saying "learned" as in learned scholar or Michael Learned. But it's the name of some fort. Larned, like a lot of Western Kansas, seems to be a place where cows come to be slaughtered. I'm still seeing some of the "happy" roaming ones, but in this part of the state there are larger feedlots where there is no grass and cows are fed slop probably mixed with their own feces and brains. Out here, having read Fast Food Nation and The Omnivore's Dilemma (shout-out to SOSE~~!!) is both instructive and gross.

I left Larned for my longest (fingers-crossed and a prayer for good winds) day yet. I rode 121 miles to Scott City, Kansas yesterday. I can't say that it was a cinch or anything, but the winds were gently pushing from the northeast for most of the way, so except for a 25-mile jog north in the morning (a cold one - wore the jacket even though it wasn't raining!) the rest was west. And west is best when the wind is coming from the other way, even at an angle.

I arrived in Scott City looking for the Athletic Club, an (you guessed it!) athletic club (with a pool!) that cyclists can stay in for $10. Unfortunately Krista was not able to give me suitable directions (though i was 4 blocks away). I saw a gaggle of girls in sporty gear exiting the back of the high so i figured one of them would know. Now before i get into this, you must know that i will do my absolute best to describe this experience - but i fear it may end of being a had-to-have-been-there one to really appreciate it. So i approached this group of about 30 girls at the height of puberty and asked "Does anyone know the way to---" AND I AM WRITING THE REST OF THIS IN CAPS BECAUSE THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO DESCRIBE IT THE GIRLS' ENERGY WAS AT ELEVEN AND THEY OVERWHELMED ME WITH QUESTIONS BARELY LETTING ME ANSWER ANY OHMYGOD I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE FROM LA THAT'S SO COOL MY UNCLE WENT THERE I CAN'T BELEIVE YOU'RE RIDING YOUR BIKE ACROSS THE COUNTRY YOU'RE SO AMAZING THE ATHLETIC CLUB IS OVER THERE I TOOK GYMNASITCS THERE OHMYGOD EMILY TELL HIM WHAT YOUR BROTHER DID EMILY'S BROTHER IS SUCH A... So i asked them "Can i take your picture?" expecting that they'd reluctantly agree (don't know why) AND THEY SCREAMED BLOODY MURDER AND SURROUNDED ME AND IMMEDIATELY FORMED THEMSELVES INTO A FORMATION AS IF THEY'D HAD THEIR PICTURE TAKEN AS A GROUP EVERY FUCKING DAY OF THEIR LIVES!

For a moment i thought they might tear off my clothes and carry me away and seriously molest me. O granddaughters of Semele!

I was laughing so hard i could barely hold the camera steady. God i love this fucking state!

Comments

  1. I used to talk to cows when I rode my bike from my house to town every day (about 7 miles) and one of them I named Miss Hannigan. But that doesn't rule you out from crazy.

    Also, tell me where you will be stopping in Nevada - there are some great Basque restaurants there! I grew up all over NV. my dad travelled a lot for work and I would go with him to all the small towns. So chances are, I'll have been where you're going!

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  2. You know, this post makes me actually want to visit Kansas. Which is saying something as I view it through the lens of a science-y person who believes in the Scientific Theory and no god...

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